3/21/13

The other week I was driving with my sister to our favorite park. It was probably around 50 degrees outside so it was the perfect weather. I had my windows rolled down, sunroof open, and blasted country music. I am probably the worst singer in the entire continent of America, but I still belted out all the lyrics to every song. My sister was cracking up right next to me, so I started laughing along with her. Just from that little drive, I was so freaking happy. I can't even being to explain it. Pure bliss.

Pure happiness to me is yourself on that on little drive, smiling all the way; just for no reason at all. Just laughing along with your loved ones about something stupid, or just accomplishing something little. For example, I opened my locker without it getting jammed, or my physics test was pushed back. Anything little just makes life so much more beautiful when you look at it all together.

For the past couple of weeks, I was just thinking about how much I LOVE life, and how much I love my own life. It's really complicated actually, I really do love life, but at the same time I am so miserable with my health. I can handle it, but I can't at the same time. I mean, I think that's normal for anyone in this situation, but it's SO confusing. 

But pain and struggle make life and this adventure so much more beautiful. It just makes you appreciate the little things so much more. Any success or accomplishment you achieve is also so much greater knowing what you went through to get it.

I definitely feel like my mentality is so much better than it used to be. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that I can handle it a lot better and have a better perspective about my pain. Physically, (in my opinion) I am worse. My grades are kind of slipping, i'm losing focus, and it is incredibly difficult to play the one sport that I really love.

I don't know how I'll feel, let's say in a couple months, but I know I'll be okay. I have such amazing best friends alongside with me and family and teachers. I couldn't do any of this without them and I am eternally grateful.

Usually no matter how bad something is,( not just talking about pain, but in general) it always turns out fine in the end.